What To Do When Someone Dies: A Gentle Guide for the First Steps

A gentle guide for families navigating the first steps - what to do when someone dies.

Losing someone you love is overwhelming. In the first hours and days, it can feel impossible to think clearly, let alone make decisions. Please know this — there is no “right” way to do this. You only need to take one small step at a time.

This guide will help you understand what to do when someone dies, whether the passing occurs at home, in hospital, in aged care, or overseas, so you can take things one step at a time with clarity and support.

First, Take a Breath

Before anything else:

• Sit down.

• Call someone you trust to be with you.

• You do not have to do everything immediately.

In most situations, there is time. Your loved one does not need to be rushed away, and you are allowed space to process.

If Your Loved One Passed Away in Hospital

Hospital staff will guide the initial process and confirm the death formally.

What Happens Next:

1. A doctor will complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.

2. Your loved one will be transferred to the hospital mortuary.

3. Staff will ask which funeral provider you would like to use.

You do not need to decide instantly.You can say: “We need some time before choosing.”

When You’re Ready:

• Contact a funeral or memorial provider (like Meaningful Memorials).

• We arrange transfer, care, and guide you through options — traditional or alternative.

There is no requirement to hold a formal funeral. Many families today choose a celebration of life later, somewhere meaningful.

If Your Loved One Passed Away at Home

This can feel especially confronting, but support is available.

If the death was expected (palliative care or illness):

1. Call the palliative care nurse or GP listed in the care plan.

2. They will attend and certify the death.

3. You may spend time with your loved one before any transfer occurs.

There is no rush. Many families sit, talk, light candles, or simply be present.

If the death was unexpected:

1. Call emergency services (000).

2. Police and medical staff may attend as part of standard procedure.

3. The Coroner may become involved — this is routine when a cause of death isn’t immediately clear.

Once documentation is completed, you can choose your memorial provider.

If Your Loved One Passed Away in Aged Care

Aged care teams are experienced in supporting families through this moment.

What They Will Do:

• Notify the doctor to certify the death.

• Contact you (if you were not present).

• Ask which funeral/memorial provider to call.

You can attend, spend time privately, and say goodbye before transfer.

Many families choose to hold a memorial at:

• A favourite café

• A garden

• A family home

• A beach, winery, or community space

It does not have to happen in a chapel unless you want it to.

If Your Loved One Was Receiving Palliative Care

Palliative teams will usually:

• Prepare you for what to expect.

• Provide instructions on who to call.

• Support you emotionally and practically.

This is often the most supported pathway, and you are not alone in it.

After certification, you may take time before any arrangements move forward.

If the Death Occurred Overseas

This can feel incredibly complex, but there is a clear process.

You Will Need:

1. A local death certificate from the country.

2. Assistance from an international repatriation service (we can coordinate this).

3. Communication with Australian authorities and airlines.

Families can choose to:

• Repatriate their loved one to Australia, or

• Hold a memorial locally and return ashes.

We help manage logistics, documentation, and transport so you are not navigating foreign systems alone

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What Do I Actually Need to Decide Right Now?

In the first 24–48 hours, there are only three decisions that matter:

• Who will care for your loved one now

• Who in the family needs to be informed

• Whether you want time before planning anything further

Everything else can wait.

What About the Funeral?

You don’t have to have one.

More families are choosing:

• A celebration of life weeks or months later

• A private goodbye followed by a gathering

• A location that reflects the person, not tradition

• Something simple, personal, and meaningful

There is no rulebook anymore.

Common Questions Families Ask

Do we need to move quickly? No. There is usually time to pause and think.

Do we have to follow tradition? Not at all. You can create something completely personal.

What if we don’t know what they wanted? We help you design something that reflects who they were.

Is it okay if this feels surreal or numb? Yes. That is grief protecting you.

When You Feel Ready, We’re Here.

At Meaningful Memorials, we help families create farewells that feel real, personal, and true to the life lived — not just a service to get through.

Whether that’s:

• A relaxed gathering by the water

• A storytelling evening with music and wine

• A quiet family goodbye

• Or something entirely different

We walk beside you and handle the details gently.

f You’ve Just Lost Someone and Are Wondering What to Do When Someone Dies

Submit an enquiry form. Text or Call us. Even if you’re unsure. Even if you’re not ready.

Sometimes the first step is simply talking to someone who understands.